3/04/2010

Review of Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits (Hardcover)

About one of Celia Rivenbark's earlier books, "USA Today" cleverly said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." It's a formulation that can't be beat, but I'd add "Southern point of view," in regard to "Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits," her latest.For Rivenbark, author of the award-winning best sellersStop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom; We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle; andBless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments, anewspaper humor columnist distributedby the Mc Clatchy Syndicate, is one funny lady.In fact, she's the natural successor to humor columnist Erma Bombach, only she's younger and prettier.And, to be sure, alive.

Belle Weather is a collection of Rivenbark's columns.Lucky me, I remember reading some of them in the local paper, "The Star News," of Wilmington, North Carolina; it's her home paper, as it is mine, these days.The paper's star feature writer/book reviewer/movie reviewer Ben Steelman, has just gone to the trouble of counting up Rivenbark's television references in this book: let's just say, among friends, that there are many.Also, many pop culture references.But hey, a girl's gotta refer to something to make her points.And make her points Rivenbark does.She's funny, y'all: and that comes from a woman who has lived here for only three years, is not a Southerner, and never will be.I defy you to get through "Britney's to-do list: pick okra, cover that thang up," without dissolving into fits of laughter.Or try "The difference between cockroaches and water bugs," that explains the southern viewpoint on this important consideration.You probably need to know, if you're a mother, "How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew."Furthermore, Rivenbark has one of the most important ingredients of Southern humor going for her: she can be pretty danged fierce when she's lighting out after those irritating, smug PTA type mothers.

And most female dieters -- that's all of us, isn't it?-- will want to know "Why French women suck at competitive eating:" we do, after all, get those dad-blamed women thrown up at us all the time in our struggles with the scale.

Rivenbark says, "I`d been inspired by the book "French Women Don't Get Fat," which stresses tiny portions of wonderful things.Inside my body, it was as if a real French woman had taken up residence.I imagined her petulant and puny, even trying desperately to get me to take up smoking again.When I was observing the French Women's Diet, I ate like Nicole Richie sans the Vicodin buffet."Well, evidently, if you've been living in a cave, and somehow don't know who Nicole Richie -- or Britney Spears is, for that matter --and aren't sure what Vicodin does, this book's not for you."Tant pis,"in that case.That's French for "too bad for you," y'all.




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